Friday, October 28, 2011
Its been around a year and almost four months since I've started doing duty and I only have 4 more to go. Last one being on the 18th next month. There's a bitter sweet feeling to it in the sense that I'll be finally out of this shit at the end but I think I'll miss the friends that I've made. Its like you're the maggot in a piece of shit. You had no choice because you were laid there by circumstances that are not under your control. You want to escape and the only way to do that is to eat the shit in your face to get out. Its crap and you're finally gonna see the sun but then turn around and start to think of your fellow maggots that are also eating their way out. Maybe you don't wanna care but deep inside you know that they matter. Because even though you guys are eating the shit in your respective paths but sometimes when other people eat their shit it kinda loosens the intensity of your own shit. Especially those that are close by when they eat their shit sometimes it results in the shit that you have being less compact thus making it easier for you to eat.
But whatever the case I'm still happy its ending. Because this shit hasn't exactly shaped me in the way I pictured it to be. What I do involves being alone for long periods of time. And being alone I've become accustomed to it. I used to think that I was a pretty sociable person. At least I could talk comfortably to most people. But this shit has kinda made me afraid of meeting new people. Because the "new" people that I meet on the job are always the same kind of people. Meaning that the questions they ask are always the same, they ask about my job. The same few obvious questions never fail to surface. In other words, I am doing something I don't like. I meet people while doing the thing I don't like. And these people talk to me about the thing I don't like and the things they ask are always the same. In some ways I've become less willing to open up to new people. Like you know, why bother talking when you're gonna say the same thing over and over again.
Besides new people, there is an enormous amount of time spent alone doing nothing. Sure, I can bring entertainment but it doesn't change the fact that it cuts off communication with other people. I become less needy for company or rather I've become less willing to meet up with friends.
They say the only constant in this world is change. But of course it doesn't apply to everything and one of those things is my height. Haha I'm still short. I've accepted that it isn't going to get any better unless I get bitten by radioactive spiders. I'm not gonna whine boo hoo I'm too short but acceptance doesn't take away the inconvenience this brings. And why am I bringing this up all of a sudden? Because SNSD is coming and I'm not going to watch them. Why? Because through experience, concerts aren't exactly the choice outing for a guy like me. Four words : can't see no shit. Some concerts you have to be in the mosh pit to experience it best. A7x was awesome even thought I CSNS. Green day I was sitting because gb doesn't have a brain. Taylor Swift I was standing but I think that its an exception because alot of kids were there and comparatively I was average or maybe even above average and I could watch the whole show with no problem. Its just sad man that I'm never going to experience any concert in the pit with a decent view.
Maybe its a good thing because it can let me save some money.. I am going to be broke soon.
7:36 PM
